kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
