Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
