I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
