im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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