Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
