i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
