Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
