I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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