Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
