There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
