I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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