first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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