phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she peed on how many people?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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