is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
