But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
