so that wasnt chicken after all
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
