I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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