Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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