i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
