Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
