So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
