1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
