You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
