apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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