he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
