He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
