Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
