I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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