I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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