Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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