they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
