remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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