I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
