Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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