I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
