We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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