A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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