I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize