it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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