I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It's blow job season.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
