Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
