dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
