So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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