talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize