Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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