dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Soap is not a condiment
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize