Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
