Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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