That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
