I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
