i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize