Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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