We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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