This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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