i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
