if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
