I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize