he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
