one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
