ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
