Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
